The Silent Voices In The World Cup’s Dark Side

                  

England are through to the World Cup 2018 semi-finals for the first time

 since 1990 after beating Sweden 2-0. If England beat Croatia in the final tonight, they’re due to play France in what will be momentous occasion with British households singing ‘It’s Coming Home’ in anticipation.

As I have been throughout the World Cup, I have to pause and think about the dark side of World Cup fever tonight: children living in domestic abuse households in the U.K. Reports of children affected by domestic abuse have soared by 77% in just four years, according to the NSPCC. Research into the link between domestic abuse and the football has shown that reports of domestic abuse increase when the England team win or lose a match and increases with every World Cup tournament. Recently I was thrilled to see the Police acknowledge the correlation as forces across the country have been preparing for a rise in domestic violence surrounding England’s World Cup games.

One comment I read on an article said ‘if women know their husbands are violent during the works cup, why stay in the house?’ Questioning a victims inability to leave (bearing in mind a victim is more likely to die in the process of leaving an abuser) is a common repose whenever domestic abuse is on the table. One point I always make is that the 130,000 British children living in domestic abuse households don’t have the choice to just leave.

Around 39,000 babies under one year of age live with domestic violence in the UK. Every day thousands of children witness cruelty and violence behind closed doors. Approximately 90% of children are in the same room when a violent assault is taking place, and 10% of that 90% are witnessing a rape or sexual assault. What’s key here is that a football win doesn’t mean no abuse; it means a 38% increase when they lose, and a 26% when they win or draw. At my children’s schools, the past few weeks have been full of World Cup celebrations. For 1 in 5 children the fears and roller-coaster of emotions an event like the World Cup are unthinkable.

As has been pointed out by many lately, football does not cause domestic violence. Of course, the tension built by the World Cup, and many other events, will contribute to and trigger it, but the cause of domestic violence is always the abuser. When that abuser is emotionally charged, drinking alcohol and hedging bets and emotions on the football result, the triggers increase and the victims are more at risk.

In 2013-2014, there were forty-six domestic abuse murder victims under age sixteen. Half of these youth were killed by a step-parent or parent, just 9% we’re killed by a partner. Children too often seem to be a silent voice in these conversations yet they are so vulnerable, they need us to listen.

I understand that football is our most popular l sport and as a sports fan (although I may not be overly patriotic) I understand the passion and mindset behind celebrating England’s World Cup journey. Still, we can’t afford to ignore the situation that British children are facing; they directly impact British society. Children suffer multiple physical and mental health consequences because of living with domestic violence.

Domestic abuse presents a long-term and significant risk of ever-increasing harm to a child’s physical, emotional and social development. Later in life, children are at greater risk for substance abuse, juvenile pregnancy and criminal behaviour, including gang and knife violence. All are issues we claim to care about but still we’re failing to address domestic abuse as a major factor.

Tonight, is set to be a ‘fever pitch’, with Croatia hoping to reach the final for the first time and England hoping to end a 52-year wait to return. Please spare a thought for the children for whom this is so much more than ‘just a game’.

Are Foster Carers Being Taught To Fear Children?

 

A review of foster care in England has been published following a consultation with academics, carers and children has been released that reveals guidance for foster carers has made them afraid to show affection to the children they look after.

The report was co-authored by the former chief executive of Bernardo’s, Sir Martin Narey and children’s services adviser Mark Owers, and found that children are being denied “the physical or emotional affection they need that helps them to thrive” because foster carers “had been taught to be fearful of potential allegations”. As a foster carer who has cared for over 100 high-need children from abusive backgrounds, I am proud to say I have a high success record, I can also tell you I did not achieve it by withholding affection and warmth from the children I care for. All of them have needed love, praise, support, nurturing, cuddling and affection to thrive.

Science shows us that affection from parents to their children results in life-long positive outcomes including higher self-esteem, better school grades, better communication, and fewer mental health and behavioural problems. Children who do not receive affection from their parents tend to have lower self-esteem and to feel more alienated, hostile, aggressive, and anti-social. If science has proved this then why are foster carers being advised to stop? Foster children usually have highly complex backgrounds and have already been separated from their family, so when a foster carer avoids affection, it compounds their feelings of being unwanted, unloved and rejected. Every single child I have ever cared for has told me they just want to be loved. Loved, hugged, made to feel part of a family unit. I’m not alone, the positive outcomes for foster children are in those who are loved as a family member.

In my experience, if a child is prone to lying sadly they will do it regardless of whether you are near them or not.

The definition  of Foster Care is: ‘A way of providing a family life for children who cannot live with their own parents. All over the world, foster families open their hearts to children in need, and share their family life with them.’ Yet the report also revealed advisement to foster carers preventing a foster child from calling them ‘mum’ or ‘dad’ but in a potentially 18-year long-term placement, it would be challenging to say the least to fulfil the definition of foster care and not hug, be alone with or allow a foster child to call you ‘mum’ or ‘dad’. I understand in cases where there is a respite placement and the child is only in the care of foster carers for a matter of days; but carers are trained to know that difference. As time goes on, the whole purpose is to embrace them – a long term placement – under advisement and the child’s needs and backgrounds should inform that decision.

This is why the advanced DBS exists. If there is a time for being robust it’s when the initial assessments take place. If anything, foster carers need more support and remuneration because their role is a complex mix of mental health, parenting, mentoring and safeguarding. Foster carers need training that reflects the complexities of the children as their needs become more and more complex.

One foster care organisation’s advice specifically focuses on male carers, telling them they “should be aware that showing physical affection towards children/young people could be misinterpreted and put them at risk”. Male carers are also told to ask children to sit in the back seat if they pick them up in their car because of the “additional risk of allegations”.

Gender has absolutely nothing to do with good child care and to suggest that a child is unsafe or at risk with a male carer is outright sexism.  Joss Cambridge-Simmons is a leading U.K male nanny who has worked in childcare for over 10 years:

‘I feel it is vital that children of all ages see men as affectionate beings when in the right provision of course.  I say this so that they do not grow up building a negative image of men. Also, so they can learn to tell the difference between a man that’s affectionate appropriately and a man that’s affectionate inappropriately.  If they want a hug I only give it if asked for. Over the 12 years in my career as a male child carer, I have seen what a hug can do for some of these children. It’s how they learn emotions, how they learn how to self-regulate and express, some of them come from backgrounds of abuse and neglect etc. Speaking and showing affection, especially  for these little boys who think big boys don’t cry or cuddle. A life with no affection or hugs can only lead to an emotionless adulthood full of complexes and I’m sure is not good for one’s mental health or well-being.’ @Jossycare childcare specialist

Depriving children of the best possible care, that meets their emotional and psychological needs is bureaucracy gone mad. We’ve become over sensitised, this type of advice is completely left field and could negatively impact carers entering the process.

There is a huge need for foster carers for older children, groups of siblings, disabled children and unaccompanied asylum-seeking children. Over 65,000 children live with almost 55,000 foster families across the UK each day and there is a shortfall of over 8,000 carers. Kevin Williams, chief executive of The Fostering Network, said: ‘A child comes into care in need of a foster family every 20 minutes in the UK.’ In 2017 it was announced that as many as 140,000 vulnerable children at risk of abuse and neglect might not be getting help because cash-strapped local authorities have been forced to shrink or abandon family support. With 90 children coming into care every day, calls for urgent funding to support these children and invest in children and their families are becoming more and more urgent. This report is so concerning because we cannot afford for more children to slip through the cracks because of unnecessary red tape. Most foster carers are families, and revelations like these are potentially off-putting to potential carers who will fear the wellbeing of their family unit.

We must remember that foster kids are already demonised, at school, by their peers and sadly, as this review shows, by the system. They don’t want to be outsiders or different or have the stigma as a ‘problem child’ but treating them in the way this review has exposed only serves to further alienate them.

When working with children in the care system, false allegations happen and we can’t be naïve to it but that’s where training comes in. I fully agree with the robust systems in place because these children need specific care. When issues arise, foster carers work with social workers, agencies, local authorities, teachers, therapists, to safeguard by providing thorough training and support. Foster carers shouldn’t be on an island but all too often in my experience they are.

I’m a specialist carer so people only come to me with severe problems, so I have gone on enhanced training to deal with allegations but a standard carer needs support, not fearmongering in order to be successful.

Minister for Children and Families Nadhim Zahawi said: ‘The report gives us an opportunity to celebrate foster care and to recognise the invaluable role foster parents play in the lives of vulnerable children.’ I agree but it has also left me, as a foster carer, feeling deeply concerned. The care system in the U.K is at a breaking point; the shortfall is significant and cuts don’t help; there is so much more we can be doing to support vulnerable children. Withholding cuddles and refusing to be alone with them simply isn’t one of them.

A Year of Balance

At the end of each year I take some time to write a reflection of the year behind me and I can honestly say that each time is a revelation.

Am I healthy? Not as healthy as I’d like. Have I spent more of 2017 in hospitals than I’d have liked? Yes. Have I had stresses that have completely blindsided me? Yes. Have I lost people I thought were friends? Yes. Have I also said goodbye to some amazing people who departed this year? Yes. Like any year, it’s been full of ups and downs and more than a few surprises.

Christmas is the perfect opportunity to reflect on our choices. That’s the reason Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is such a memorable tale that has been retold oh so many ways; the story shares a powerful message. Each ghost of past, present and future reminds us of the power of the time and perspective to change the way we see the world around us.

The number of people forced into homelessness is expected to more than double to half a million by 2041 unless the government takes immediate action, a homelessness charity has warned.

It’s not just us, the US population has risen for the first time in years, and last week it was reported that Germany’s homelessness is on the rise.

Thinking about, talking about and working on the homelessness issues helps me to keep things in perspective. On my way home from a meeting this week I saw a homeless woman and talking to her in the freezing cold bought a tear to my eye. As much as I may moan about the rising cost of heating and water, I was on my way home to a warm home. The place I consider my sanctuary; where I work, play, raise kids and curl up with the dogs. So, for everything I may have lost this year, I am so blessed to be able to count my many blessings, growth, change and not just for me but for those I love.

And that’s the balance between loss and gain that forms a positive mindset going into a New Year.

Over the years I’ve learned the hard way how to trust myself more, to act on my beliefs and understandings, to allow myself to try new things based on my journey and how to listen. How to listen to my circle, to my heart, body and spirit.

Looking over my articles I can see the political frustrations I’ve had in 2017; from the cuts in Domestic Abuse refuges to police failings and I haven’t been shy about speaking out. There’s also been some amazing highs with the Education Secretary setting out plans for relationships education in primary schools and relationships and sex education in secondary schools. This was a big one as it was a major success in the hard work of me and the team at S.W.I.M in trying to educate our children about healthy relationships.

Life is too short. That’s why I put me on my own calendar and weigh out my Year because even in my worst years there has been lots to be thankful for. I take time out, so that my life has balance. Taking responsibility for my happiness begins with me.

If you haven’t already, take a moment to mindfully implement a large dose of balance.

Tomorrow is not promised, but leading a life of balance in mind, body and soul is within your reach.

Be balanced, be whole, be you… and shine bright.

Being Bold For Change? Let’s Do It.

If it were possible to celebrate International Women’s day all month, I would.

I love the energy that comes from having a common positive purpose.  It’s powerful and it makes me feel as though we are uniting our voices and being heard and seen by the world.

As a woman, I was ready to celebrate (and be celebrated) on the occasion that I like to think of as ‘International Women’s week’. The title this year said a lot about where we are as a global female community in 2017 as International Women’s Day announced their campaign theme as #BeBoldForChange. Now is the time to foster a bold culture both within ourselves and the next generation. Boldness to me is about having the courage to be you as a complex, authentic and unapologetic woman at a time when we are frankly under attack. A quick read over my Huffington articles for the past year just about say it all, and it’s safe to say that as women we haven’t had an easy time.

I was thrilled to be invited to the brilliantly named event ‘Disrupting The Future: passion, purpose and change’. So I headed over to University Square Stratford, on a sunny International Women’s Day, to join a panel of ground-breaking influencers, change-makers and trailblazers. We discussed our unique journeys and what it takes to create change for tomorrow. I was so inspired to learn from, listen to and share with the incredible Afua Hirsh – Education Social Affairs Editor Sky News and Courtenay Griffiths QC- Barrister (Damilola Taylor case, Charles Taylor ‘Blood Diamonds Case)  as we discussed everything from social change and justice, transforming communities from within, starting a movement, feminism and Brexit to the power of this generation to take charge and transform the future and more. I was asked about how we re-define gender roles and I explained to the excellent audience there that for me, there are some gender roles that in all honesty I don’t have an issue with. I don’t think every single role needs to be re-assigned or re-defined. I think the emphasis has to be on opportunity and equality. I agree that stereotypes must be shattered, but I think gender-roles are adaptable.

I believe that differences can be celebrated.

For example, men are naturally stronger than women, because we have (on average) less total muscle mass. Men also have denser, stronger bones, tendons, and ligaments. But! As women, we produce more antibodies and at a quicker rate than men AND we have more white blood cells. This means we develop fewer infectious diseases and we are ill for shorter periods (sorry ladies but man-flu is not a myth!).  These are biological differences that fascinate me. Look at the Olympics, we don’t have ‘one race’, we have the Men’s races and the women’s races. This doesn’t mean that women do not excel in sports, far from it. So, if my daughter tells me she wants to be a weight-lifter, I know she absolutely can be and should be. But, she can excel at that without trying to be stronger than a man or even ever competing with a man. I think the bottom-line is there has to be an equal playing field in which everyone can be what they choose to be.

Next stop was Southampton. I will always have a soft spot for universities. I love chatting to the dynamic and bold young people who head unions, and create events and are filled with passion about world issues. Spending a day with them, drinking lemon and ginger tea and discussing the harsh realities of domestic abuse and connecting was an absolute privilege. I discussed my concerns about the newly discovered ‘Flaw in The Law’ that has meant many groomers who meet up with their victims avoiding punishment. Yes, adults cannot currently be arrested or prosecuted for sending sexual messages to children, and although anti-grooming legislation was created two years ago, it is yet to be put into force.

I also explained why and how I believe that self-esteem is crucial to combating the Domestic Abuse plague.  Even if we cannot (yet) change the world; we can change how we respond to it. We can change how we perceive what is around us, how we respond emotionally and mentally. We can fight for our own self-esteem and self-belief so that we can hand it on like a baton to the next generation.  We may never jail every single perpetrator, we may rally against the justice system for a few more decades (although I hope not). By actively working on our own standards for ourselves and creating a generation of empowered women: we will make an impact.

Yes, I know that now the party is over we have to get back to work (as I write this I am on my way to the Houses of Parliament to do just that) and I know we have a long way to go. We probably have more work to do and further to go that we’d like to admit but this year I felt bold. Despite all the issues going on in the world around us and in our own personal lives, I looked into the eyes of the young students at Southampton university who are literally grafting the make the world better; and pioneers like Mariah Idrissi the courageous Muslim model who boldly stands up at a time of Islamophobia and says ‘this is me’ and I saw something important. Hope.

I’m going to take that hope and use it to fuel the fire of change that I’m working on not just for my daughters but for all of us. If we all do the same and take the same positivity away with us, I honestly believe that we will achieve more and more greatness.

So, here’s to boldness and here’s to 2017.

 

 

Can You Hear Us Now?

Here at Strength With In Me Foundation (S.W.I.M) we know that what we do can saves people’s lives, but we can only be succeed if the people who need our help, know about our inner-strength and the infinite we power we possess inside us.
To do this we need to spread the word to help women all over the world to understand, through our authenticity and candidness, that they are not alone.
One of the best ways we can do this is by telling the stories of real women; gathering the voices of real women who have not just survived Domestic Abuse but have gone on to thrive. We feel it’s better coming from you, so if you’re a survivor of any type of Domestic Violence and are ready to empower the world by saying #CanYouHearUsNow? then we want to hear from you.
Record your story onto your phone or laptop and tell the world:
•Who you are
•What you have survived
•What you are most proud of today
•End your recording by asking ‘Can you hear me now?’
The purpose of your recording is to stand up to domestic abuse with defiance. You may be the child, sibling or parent of a Domestic Abuse victim. You may be 19-years old and out of a coercive control situation. You may have escaped Domestic Abuse 30-years ago or you may be the bereaved mother of a woman murdered by her husband.
If successful, your video will be instrumental in empowering women the world over. So please, be real, be proud and be you.
Others examples:
1: I am a 21-year old graduate and when I was 12 my mother was shot and killed by my stepfather. Now, I am the proud mother of a happy little girl. Can you hear us now?
2: I am a grandmother, and thirty years ago, I survived my husband’s attempt to murder me. Today I am proud to say I am a school headmistress and I am no longer afraid. Can you hear us now?
3: I am a 30-year old businesswoman and last year I escaped a verbally abusive relationship. Today, I am proud to be happy, confident and independent.’

Follow @DiahanneUK and SWIM_DV on Twitter to get involved. In the meantime, record your video and upload it to your social media with the hashtag #CanYouHearUsNow?

http://m.huffpost.com/uk/entry/12008302

By sending us your story, you agree that we may publish it on our website and e-newsletters, in our articles and, in some cases, our campaign material.
We regret we cannot respond to every story submitted. If you are not happy for your first name to be published, please let us know via email when you send your video to us. In some cases, we may contact you to ask for any additional details, or to talk about any edits we need to make.

 

 

Can We Be Superwomen?

After weeks of planning and excitement, the Be & Beyond team enjoyed another ‘Dine To Climb’ Empowerment Networking Supper set within the chic backdrop of Hoxton. I went along to absorb some positive energies.

The evening opened up with a glass of rose and a brief introductory talk by Be and Beyond’s founder, Dr Diahanne Rhiney. She shared her deep love of connecting with women as she set the tone with: ‘The energy is what makes these events so special. For me Be and Beyond #DineToClimb is one of those priceless milestone events. I truly believe in supporting one another from a place of true transparency, honesty and authenticity. We should all look in the mirror and tell ourselves ‘you are beautiful’.

As an eclectic group of women gathered around to explore the question “Can we be Superwomen?” the synergy was palpable. It was revealed that many of us struggle with maintaining a work life balance and subsequently suffer with feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

The event did not disappoint as our diverse family of guests blended their different experiences and energies throughout the evening. In accordance with Be & Beyond’s ‘Las Vegas’ rule, what is shared and confessed within the four walls of the supper, stays there. Still, it is safe to say that everyone present shared, laughed, debated, and felt moved by the authentic openness and sisterhood in the room. Over a delicious 3-course meal which included a roasted beetroot and mozzarella starter, a blackened salmon main and a fresh fruit and cream trifle, the conversation flowed organically.

It was an absolute privilege to listen and share with Heather Melville, Founder of the RBS Women’s Network who was guest speaker for the evening.

 

She shared her incredible journey and revealed how she has learned to maintain a successful work/life balance. It was an eye opener and we were blown away by her candidness and the depth of her life experiences.

With an extensive career in international banking and global sales, Heather truly understands the challenges that women face building careers and. She is genuinely passionate about and committed to empowering women in business which was evident by her keenness to squeeze the ‘Dine To Climb’ supper into her busy schedule so that she could share and explore with us as a group of women.

After her talk, when asked the crucial question, “What advice would you give to a young woman going into business?” by our youngest guest (18-year old business student and charity ambassador) Danielle Vasell, Heather spoke from the heart and emphasised the need for hard work, authenticity and the importance of balance and knowing your worth.

This is just a glimpse into the golden nuggets shared by Heather.

By the end of the dinner, each of us had gained several new sisters, expanding our perspectives, understanding and connections.

 

I for one, am already looking forward to sharing, caring and inspiring together at the next episode. Watch this space!

Daniella Maison

Be & Beyond would like to give special thanks to:
Kasey KupKase http://www.kupkase.com

‘Thank you ladies for a brilliant, inspiring and entertaining evening. Much enjoyed and buzzing from meeting some great ladies, lots of love, Louise’

‘Powerful evening- Diahanne, thank you for starting something to support real women.’ Heather

‘Thank you so much for a truly fabulous evening. I feel inspired and motivated.’ Sue

Thear events were designed for women whom wish to ‘remove the mask’ and absorb from the strength, encouragement and experiences of other women. It’s founder, Dr Diahanne Rhiney created it as a positive platform unlike any other form of ‘networking’ out there, tailored for women to learn, share, discuss, laugh, debate and thrive.

To book your place on our next event or to enquire, email us at: daniella@diahannerhiney.com

Join Us to be inspired & to empower. Be One, Be You, Be and Beyond…

 

Christmas Light

Nothing can dim the light that shines from within. Maya Angelou
I was sat writing my Christmas cards this week and like many of you I like to impart a few words of inspiration to my loved ones. As I sat contemplating what to write this year a single word popped into my head: ‘light’.

I believe that all of us have light within us. I’m blessed enough to be surrounded by people who inspire, motivate, cheer me up and cheer me on with their inner light all the time. It is their greatest gift to me.

Beyond that, I do truly believe that all of us have an inner light. Sometimes, the bumpy roads we travel in life have dimmed them. Sometimes our own lack of self-belief and negativity may have jaded our inner light. Yet, we are born with the natural ability to shine bright. Children will naturally move to centre stage, leaping around the front room or singing Frozen’s ‘Let It Go’ at the top of their voice with their eyes closed! They are unafraid to shine bright and beam, filling our hearts with warmth on our worst days.

For us, however, we have to remember to shine bright
lest life should try to dampen our spirit.

Your inner light is the core of your spirit. Stacy Aberle

If you truly believe those words then you already have the Christmas Spirit within you. I believe Christmas is a time to look back and reflect on those moments in which we have truly shone. Not only that, but to seek to continue to do so. To thank those around us who have shone their light when we may have found ourselves in darkness, and the hope that they will continue to be a beacon in the year ahead.

As you turn the Christmas tree lights on, sit by the fire or light a candle this Christmas; don’t forget to put some work into your own brightness.

Say aloud ‘I will seek to illuminate my inner-light and shine it upon others. I will bask in the light of those around me and rejoice in it.’

Believe it and it will be so.

Thank you for so faithfully reading my rants, tributes, and articles this year. I hope they have inspired you in some way. Your light inspires me always.

Thank you. And a very merry Christmas

Make A Social Change

With the rise of social networking and online news channels, we are (now more than ever) exposed and constantly reminded of the many  injustices in the world. It is little  wonder that more of us are feeling the need to promote social change. From charities, foundations and campaigns to outreach, community projects and volunteering; with focus, discipline and drive, it is possible to make a positive contribution to your community, or indeed society.

I am a firm believer in The Acorn Principle. This is the idea that, If the right conditions and circumstances are provided, every tiny acorn will one day develop into a giant oak tree.

Whilst you may have a great idea for a charity, knowing what to consider and expect can be tricky. Here are just a few of my tips:

1. Problem Solve.

Identify the exact problem you want to address and why. Consider: what, who, where, when and how? Whilst there may, and more than likely is, a need for your project, do consider your approach. Pause and assess the timing of your project: is a fresh new approach required? Or, is there actually no need to reinvent the wheel? Thoroughly and realistically consider the scale you intend to effect change on be it local, national or global. Most importantly: know your stuff. Your finger should be firmly on the pulse of all the developments, statistics, existing efforts, and the grassroots experiences of the community you are seeking to assist. There is no such thing as too much research.

2. Passion and belief

In my opinion, your cause should be something you believe in from the very core of you. Your project shouldn’t be the latest trend or fad. It may not even be something you have first hand experience of (though this often helps), but it is essential that you feel a deep and authentic passion to create social change. This passion will drive you, sustain you and be enduring enough to keep you pushing past the inevitable challenges and obstacles you will meet along the way.

3. Patience and perseverance

Success in all areas, particularly when it comes to philanthropy, is often a slow burner. It is likely to be many years after you begin that you will actually reap the benefits and see actual results within your specific demographic. Bureaucracy can be exhausting and, at times, de-motivating. Stick with it. If your project is well researched, deserving and authentic, time and hard work will bring about change. Remember, when it comes to helping others, it is very much ‘quality not quantity’. When you have actively played a role in contributing positively to the world around you, impacting the life of just one person is enough. Persevere!

4. Planning is key

Prepare, plan and plan some more.

Map out your first year of activity. Then your first five years. And keep going! What steps will help you to achieve your goal? Establish a profile,  do your groundwork diligently and have a strong team in place. Be modest; the essence of social change is about joining hands. As the proverb says, ‘many hands makes light work’, be willing to learn from the pioneers, sit down with those who have been practitioners in the field a long time. find out key stake holders, assess your field. Gain insight, view those working to create positive change as your potential collaborators and teachers, not as your ‘competitors’.

All in all, be true to yourself and always summon into mind the reasons you got started. Hold onto that fervour, stay dynamic and believe that you can and will make a change.

One person with passion is better than forty people merely interested. E.M. Forster

Diahanne’s Daily Tributes: Final Day Black History Month

Today is the last day of Black History Month. I say that with a heavy heart because I have always enjoyed having an entire month to immerse myself in black literature, icons, facts and events.

Before I end my Daily Tributes, I’d like to leave you with a parting thought: in order for us to succeed and make progress as a global community, Black History Month must be more than just a month, it must be a lifestyle.

I believe if we fill our homes with literature (I was privileged to have a black literature bookshelf in my childhood home, its impact on my psyche was immeasurable), actively patronise and support exhibitions and plays we will see progress in our children’s development. To be blunt, we must cease to complain about the lack of black history etc in the curriculum and fill the gaps ourselves. Balance out our children’s formative influences with some of our own.

I am a true believer in Orwell’s saying that “The most effective way to destroy people is to deny and obliterate their own understanding of their history.” Via a concerted, conscious and creative effort to educate our children that we shall combat the low self-esteem that our children are often displaying as a result of being disconnected from their culture.

I would like to close Black History Month with a short tribute to my mum who was, and still is my anchor. It was my mum who told me that my black skin and heritage made me beautiful despite what people told me. She instilled in me self-esteem, self-confidence and self-love; some of the greatest gifts a child can ever be bestowed. It was she who always taught me about my ancestors and legacy. When she passed away she showed me the true meaning of legacy through the great many people who attended her funeral and spoke about the positive impact she had on their lives. I am so very proud to stand on her shoulders.

On the topic of legacy I’d like to leave you with one of my own personal favourite quotes:

I believe the words of our wise have a real tangible effect on our perspectives. My advice is that when someone moves you with their words, note them down, absorb them and let them have actual applied meaning in your life. And also, please do send me some of your own as I am always seeking inspiration. Use the hashtag #blackhistorymatters to send me a few of your own (and any interesting facts or tributes) and let’s keep the spirit of Black History Month alive all year round.

#Rhineydailyshouts
#blackhistorymatters
#sendingtheelevatorbackdown
#standingontheshouldersofgreatness

‘The most important success factor is to believe in yourself.’

  
I believe we are truly privileged to be surrounded by so many inspirational people. From the historical figures we have looked at this week to the great young minds and dynamic thinkers we have in the diaspora; we have so much to draw from and be inspired by. 

Recently whilst reading material for S.W.I.M with my team, we came across this remarkable woman. Today I’d like to pay tribute to Mamphela Ramphele. She is arguably South Africa’s most prominent and well-respected public intellectual. 
However, something few people realise about Mamphela is that she is the late great Steve Biko’s widow (someone I intend to write a tribute for before the month is over!) When he died in custody after being brutally beaten by police, she was five months pregnant. She was of course sick with grief, but pledged to continue the fight to end South Africa’s racial segregation.

Ramphele’s parents were teachers who encouraged her to excel academically. She decided to study medicine; a brave decision during South Africa’s apartheid era. She began her studies in 1967 and she received her medical degree in 1972.

Because of her antiapartheid work, Ramphele was detained by the South African government for four and a half months in 1976. The next year she was ‘banned’ (an apartheid-era legal action that was used to suppress organisations and publications and severely restrict the activities of a person) and exiled where she remained until 1984. While there she established a health centre. She also continued her studies, earning a Bachelor of Commerce in administration from the University of South Africa, a postgraduate diploma in tropical health and hygiene and a diploma in public health from the University of the Witwatersrand.

From 2000 to 2004 Ramphele served as a managing director of the World Bank, focusing on human development initiatives. She was the first African to hold that position. Ramphele also served as chairman of or on the boards of several corporations and charitable organisations.

Her work has been so groundbreaking she has since received eighteen honorary degrees. They include a Doctorate at the International Institute of Social Studies, The Hague, The Netherlands, in 1997 and an Doctor of Law from the University of Cambridge in 2001.

Her work in Domestic Violence has been pioneering. An article she penned on the topic entitled: ‘What’s happened to our men?’ on the topic of domestic violence was excellent. 

http://www.sacap.edu.za/blog/counselling/domestic-violence-south-africa-whats-happened-men/

  
If you don’t yet know about Mamphela yet, I recommend some research. She is a living testament to endurance, determination and hard work. 

‘My journey is the journey of a searcher who never gives up dreaming of a better tomorrow.’ 

#blackhistorymonth

#SWIMWithUs

#antiapartheid

#SteveBiko