We’ve all got a story. We’ve all got a history. We’ve all got something from our past that we’d like to forget, need to get over or perhaps both. Stories of hurt, what was done to you, or said about you. Perhaps, your dad left when you were a child or you’ve never managed to leave your council estate. Whatever your story, we’ve all got one. So here’s the thing, so many people go through life anchored to the past, carrying around bag loads of stories. In some cases, people hold on to their stories, which end up paralysing them or causing hurt to those around them. Arguably, there are those who use their stories as a driver to live out their dreams and achieve their ambitions. But for so many others, our stories become excuses for inaction.
The question I would ask is why is it that people are not willing to take responsibility for their past? It seems as though we are content living in a victim society where families and communities bear the brunt of those who cannot move on from past hurts. The consequences often lead to crime, depression, violence, and alcohol or drug abuse and in some cases mental illness.
Over the past decades we have seen numerous seemingly miraculous ‘self help’ quick fixes that at best bring a degree of awareness but often fall short of concrete and lasting solutions, which can leave people feeling even more vulnerable and desperate. I am of a firm view that we need to hold people to account. People need to take responsibility for their actions by coming to terms with the events from the past. We need to be more inward focused and do the hardest thing of all, which is to take a long hard look in the mirror. That is where it starts for all of us. We need to stop wearing our past like a suit of armor and allow ourselves to be vulnerable. We need to stop using past betrayals and abuses to justify our actions and seek help in order to heal from our past hurts, change and finally move on.
Dr. Diahanne Rhiney's Blog 