A Year of Balance

At the end of each year I take some time to write a reflection of the year behind me and I can honestly say that each time is a revelation.

Am I healthy? Not as healthy as I’d like. Have I spent more of 2017 in hospitals than I’d have liked? Yes. Have I had stresses that have completely blindsided me? Yes. Have I lost people I thought were friends? Yes. Have I also said goodbye to some amazing people who departed this year? Yes. Like any year, it’s been full of ups and downs and more than a few surprises.

Christmas is the perfect opportunity to reflect on our choices. That’s the reason Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol is such a memorable tale that has been retold oh so many ways; the story shares a powerful message. Each ghost of past, present and future reminds us of the power of the time and perspective to change the way we see the world around us.

The number of people forced into homelessness is expected to more than double to half a million by 2041 unless the government takes immediate action, a homelessness charity has warned.

It’s not just us, the US population has risen for the first time in years, and last week it was reported that Germany’s homelessness is on the rise.

Thinking about, talking about and working on the homelessness issues helps me to keep things in perspective. On my way home from a meeting this week I saw a homeless woman and talking to her in the freezing cold bought a tear to my eye. As much as I may moan about the rising cost of heating and water, I was on my way home to a warm home. The place I consider my sanctuary; where I work, play, raise kids and curl up with the dogs. So, for everything I may have lost this year, I am so blessed to be able to count my many blessings, growth, change and not just for me but for those I love.

And that’s the balance between loss and gain that forms a positive mindset going into a New Year.

Over the years I’ve learned the hard way how to trust myself more, to act on my beliefs and understandings, to allow myself to try new things based on my journey and how to listen. How to listen to my circle, to my heart, body and spirit.

Looking over my articles I can see the political frustrations I’ve had in 2017; from the cuts in Domestic Abuse refuges to police failings and I haven’t been shy about speaking out. There’s also been some amazing highs with the Education Secretary setting out plans for relationships education in primary schools and relationships and sex education in secondary schools. This was a big one as it was a major success in the hard work of me and the team at S.W.I.M in trying to educate our children about healthy relationships.

Life is too short. That’s why I put me on my own calendar and weigh out my Year because even in my worst years there has been lots to be thankful for. I take time out, so that my life has balance. Taking responsibility for my happiness begins with me.

If you haven’t already, take a moment to mindfully implement a large dose of balance.

Tomorrow is not promised, but leading a life of balance in mind, body and soul is within your reach.

Be balanced, be whole, be you… and shine bright.

Can We Be Superwomen?

After weeks of planning and excitement, the Be & Beyond team enjoyed another ‘Dine To Climb’ Empowerment Networking Supper set within the chic backdrop of Hoxton. I went along to absorb some positive energies.

The evening opened up with a glass of rose and a brief introductory talk by Be and Beyond’s founder, Dr Diahanne Rhiney. She shared her deep love of connecting with women as she set the tone with: ‘The energy is what makes these events so special. For me Be and Beyond #DineToClimb is one of those priceless milestone events. I truly believe in supporting one another from a place of true transparency, honesty and authenticity. We should all look in the mirror and tell ourselves ‘you are beautiful’.

As an eclectic group of women gathered around to explore the question “Can we be Superwomen?” the synergy was palpable. It was revealed that many of us struggle with maintaining a work life balance and subsequently suffer with feelings of inadequacy and frustration.

The event did not disappoint as our diverse family of guests blended their different experiences and energies throughout the evening. In accordance with Be & Beyond’s ‘Las Vegas’ rule, what is shared and confessed within the four walls of the supper, stays there. Still, it is safe to say that everyone present shared, laughed, debated, and felt moved by the authentic openness and sisterhood in the room. Over a delicious 3-course meal which included a roasted beetroot and mozzarella starter, a blackened salmon main and a fresh fruit and cream trifle, the conversation flowed organically.

It was an absolute privilege to listen and share with Heather Melville, Founder of the RBS Women’s Network who was guest speaker for the evening.

 

She shared her incredible journey and revealed how she has learned to maintain a successful work/life balance. It was an eye opener and we were blown away by her candidness and the depth of her life experiences.

With an extensive career in international banking and global sales, Heather truly understands the challenges that women face building careers and. She is genuinely passionate about and committed to empowering women in business which was evident by her keenness to squeeze the ‘Dine To Climb’ supper into her busy schedule so that she could share and explore with us as a group of women.

After her talk, when asked the crucial question, “What advice would you give to a young woman going into business?” by our youngest guest (18-year old business student and charity ambassador) Danielle Vasell, Heather spoke from the heart and emphasised the need for hard work, authenticity and the importance of balance and knowing your worth.

This is just a glimpse into the golden nuggets shared by Heather.

By the end of the dinner, each of us had gained several new sisters, expanding our perspectives, understanding and connections.

 

I for one, am already looking forward to sharing, caring and inspiring together at the next episode. Watch this space!

Daniella Maison

Be & Beyond would like to give special thanks to:
Kasey KupKase http://www.kupkase.com

‘Thank you ladies for a brilliant, inspiring and entertaining evening. Much enjoyed and buzzing from meeting some great ladies, lots of love, Louise’

‘Powerful evening- Diahanne, thank you for starting something to support real women.’ Heather

‘Thank you so much for a truly fabulous evening. I feel inspired and motivated.’ Sue

Thear events were designed for women whom wish to ‘remove the mask’ and absorb from the strength, encouragement and experiences of other women. It’s founder, Dr Diahanne Rhiney created it as a positive platform unlike any other form of ‘networking’ out there, tailored for women to learn, share, discuss, laugh, debate and thrive.

To book your place on our next event or to enquire, email us at: daniella@diahannerhiney.com

Join Us to be inspired & to empower. Be One, Be You, Be and Beyond…

 

You must do as you’re told!

As the school holidays kick in throughout the year, we as parents are forced to decide whether or not we use these times to take time off work and go abroad or wait for the off-periods of the year.

Holidays, especially if you have family living in exotic countries, can cost a cost an arm, leg and a liver just to spend a couple weeks in the place you hold dearest to you. I for one would love my children to experience the background behind their upbringing and if this means that they have to experience this time during the school term, then so be it. But, here is where the problem lies, as if I want to take my child out of school to give her a real-life geographical trip, I am not able to.

The Government has now made it so they pretty much dictate every aspect of the way in which we raise ourselves and our children. We are told how much we should eat and drink, the weight we should be carrying and whether or not we are allowed to take our children out of school for a short period of time.

At the school’s discretion, they are able to authorise your child’s absence for 10 days, depending on the circumstances but, as my colleague recently experienced, even if you are going away for a family emergency, it still doesn’t mean that the school will authorise the time off! I’m not saying that we should take our children out of school without any purpose but how dare the Government dictate what we are able to do within the upbringing of OUR children!

When I speak to many young people about geography, half of them couldn’t even tell you where certain places in the world are and it’s very disappointing to think that many kids within our generation are just not acknowledging basic general knowledge. With fines being issued of up to £2500 for unauthorised absences and the economy making life’s little pleasures rise dramatically, is there any wonder why people can’t afford to go abroad on the dedicated school holidays? Let’s be realistic if a trip to Spain costs £70 in off-peak times, why would anyone want to pay £300 in peak times for the same experience?

I know there’s always the argument that if school teachers were to take time off for holidays during term-time, there would be an almighty uproar from all the parents but, considering teachers are able to have exactly the same holidays as their students, it would be rather cheeky for them to take a trip for anything other than an emergency.

There are still many schools who do not offer students the chance to go abroad within their studies and the likelihood is, depending on their financial situation, they may not be able to get a taste of the other side of the world. By incorporating a mini educational holiday into the school curriculum, could help to discourage those parents who frequently take time off.

You know those ones, where the child has had time off for every problem under the sun, which in turn makes it difficult for those with genuine issues to get authorisation.

If the Government could allocate a maximum of say 10 days per year annual leave, it would mean that both parties will be reaping the benefits, as the school will have a child who knows where they stand in terms of time off and the child will be able to get firsthand experience in regard to geography. The bottom line is, if I raise, feed and water the child until at least 18, I should be able to make decisions that can only benefit their life. Considering that the school is able to authorise 10 days off at their own discretion, why not make it a standard inclusion for parents to use?

Personally, I think the Government need to focus on getting the youths within our generation back on track instead of penalising the parents who take time to try and raise their children properly. Allowing children to acknowledge cultures and lifestyles from other communities and countries, can only add to their intelligence and will hopefully allow them to grow up become a responsible citizen.

This is my mum & BlackBerry

When I look back at my childhood, there was always something to do and always a family member who I could do it with. You know what I’m talking about, the times when you could play cards with your brother or create a dance routine with your sister. But when you look at the youth of today, times have definitely changed, as the only thing spending time with them are their BlackBerries, PS3’s or TV.

I try my best to make ample time for my daughter, as I would never want her to grow up thinking that I wasn’t there for her and didn’t appreciate her being but there are many parents who are happy to let their children be absorbed by their gadgets, which has become much more readily available than they were in my time.

My daughter who treats her BlackBerry like a third hand, is still happy to spend quality time with me and especially enjoys visiting my Gran, which is much more than I can say for many young people. But when she has been punished and her BlackBerry has to be added to my collection of phones, she always looks as though the world has ended because in her eyes, she can no longer communicate with the outside world. How tragic!

Speaking to a friend of mine, she had said that her mother used to shower her with gifts and send her to plenty of after-school activities, as she felt that this was a way of showing her daughter she loved her without having to spend quality time with her. Now I know everyone may not be blessed with maternal instincts but with methods like this, is there any wonder why some children are no longer team players in regard to family activities and only make an appearance at special occasions?

Family values are not held as high in esteem as they used to be and it’s a shame as you never know how our young people may have turned out. Long gone are the days when families used to huddle around one TV to enjoy some family entertainment together, as many young people already have a TV in their room, which in many cases is already  equipped with Freeview or Sky+. Oh how the times have changed!

What disappoints me is that young people literally get all the latest technological goods available and therefore sometimes fall into the trap of not having to work for anything. The uproar that came recently when the EMA was next on the list to be skipped showed me two things. Number 1, that there were many underprivileged families who were going to be affected by the cut and number 2, there were young people who didn’t think about the possibility of obtaining part-time work. I personally started working from a young age and knowing that I was able to buy my own things with my hard-earned money, meant that I appreciated my things even more and didn’t take them for granted.

Listening to BBC London, Vanessa Feltz had mentioned the average age that young people starting to do things of an adult nature. For example, the average age of a child drinking is 16, whilst smoking held a disappointing age of 10. The average age for wearing make-up was 13, which also was the same for wearing heels. And let me tell you, they weren’t talking about kitten heels either!

This generation are growing ahead of their time and moving in the wrong direction, as instead of picking up necessary life skills along the way, will mean that they will be in for an almighty shock in their first taster of adulthood. From cooking to budgeting, I have come across many young people who can’t even boil an egg and don’t take pride in their belongings unless it is plastered with a designer label.

I remember the days when kids would wash cars to earn money but now, as pocket money is handed to them on a plate, why would they feel the need to earn it? I for one feel no way to take away pocket money if you haven’t been as well-behaved as expected. My daughter has become accustomed to waking up and doing her chores, as she knows she doesn’t want to hear my voice AGAIN!

I worry for the next generation, as they will be the ones being brought up by our present young people.  With TV shows like Bank of Mum and Dad showcasing how disadvantaged many people in their late teens to mid-20s have become in terms of not being able to spend wisely or not having the necessary skills to even boil pasta, God help them when they become parents.

So as you watch your son or daughter continue with their bb messenger marathons, ask yourself these three things: –

1. Have they learnt to appreciate and value the things they have been given?
2. Have they learnt any life skills which will prepare them for the real world?
3. And finally, if you were to pass away tomorrow, would they be able to continue an organised, productive life without you? Or would they have to turn to another adult role model for guidance?

 

Life is too short and our kids are continuing to behave as though they are grown without knowing what hurdles come with adulthood. Cherish the glorious times with them and encourage them to enjoy their childhood but also prepare them by taking small steps.

Remember, “Life is like a coin. You can spend it any way you wish, but you only spend it once”.
– Lillian Dickson

Black history is history!

Now in the early beginnings of Black History Month (BHM) 2010, I can’t help but wonder if I should be excited or not.  Yes, it is a month when we should be appreciating the heritage that we have come from and pay tribute to all those activists, heroes and heroines who fought for us to have a voice but, when we look at what BHM really is, is it being put in our calendar for the right reasons?

The fact that BHM had been implemented in our society for more than 30 years astonishes me, as I for one do not feel as though this month which is supposed to signify the history behind the roots and beginnings of us as Black people, gives the impact that you would expect it to.

Let’s be realisitic, depending on the area in which your children attend school will represent the type of recognition days that are learnt about and the type of inset days that are dedicated to them. I for one know of a little sweetheart who has already had a day off for Eid and will surely be antipating a day off for Diwali and Guru Nanak’s birthday. And although she is taught about various holidays that are celebrated in aide of Islam, Hinduism, Sikhism and Christianity (Christmas), I’m wondering what part of their curriculum included learning about elements of Black history?

Why shouldn’t our children and children from other cultures be taught about certain historic characters from within the Black community. Characters like Madam C.J. Walker, who is the first Black woman to become a millionaire back in 1914, by producing a range of black haircare products as a result of her hair loss.  Telling our children of inspirational role models from our history would allow them to see how much they can achieve if they put their minds to it. Madam C.J. Walker started her empire with only $2 to her name and was able to recruit 1000 employees with the business that she was able to build from scratch.The beauty of this story was that although Madam C.J. Walker was born to former slaves and was orphaned from a young age, she was still able to overcome her struggles and make a difference in her life and to the lives of many in her time.

So why isn’t characters like these part of our children’s history lessons? Yes we live in a country where World War 1 and 2 played a major role in  the way in which the country was effected at the time. We are constantly told to remember the poor war veterans who lost limbs and in many cases their lives in order to fight for ‘our’ country. And yet we are living in a multicultural country, where ethnic minorities are granted a month which is not truly acknowledged for its’ worth.

Black people are an intrical part in our history and if it weren’t for many of our ancestors, we may not be here to tell the tale. Why is there such a big red tape around the issue of celebrating Black culture, when people from the Asian community do not have to experience the same stigma. Yes, I recognise the fact that as a community we have been graced with a whole month of being able to celebrate the fact that we are Black but, if we don’t take responsibility to fully implement the meaning behind BHM, then what is the point of having it?

Logistically, Black people in the UK are mainly found in the main cities such as London and Birmingham but what happens when you travel further out? Do people in these areas even think twice about celebrating BHM?

I think not, as why would they need to if schools are not teaching them about the story behind it. Why would they care that BHM was an idea stemmed of Carter G. Woodson in 1926 whom intiated Negro History Week.

The Government are very good at trying to implement things which they feel will make them look better in the eyes of the public but, as our youths are battling with peer pressure, violence and gangs, I think it’s time that they were shown their roots so that they can fully understand the error of their ways and start to establish their inner strength and passions.

Without our guidance, they will never see why ‘Black on Black’ crime is a kick in the teeth to all those activists who strove to gain equality for us in hard times. We shouldn’t have to go backwards to come forwards, as we need to stand as one to help our future generations succeed.

Let’s not make our black history ‘history’, instead use it as a stepping stone in helping our dreams and aspirations for the future.

Key people in history:

1. Frederick Douglass (born Frederick Augustus Washington Bailey, circa 1818 – February 20, 1895) – American Social Reformer
2. Garrett Morgan (March 4, 1877 – August 27, 1963) – Invented traffic lights
3. Benjamin Banneker (November 9, 1731 – October 9, 1806) – Made the first clock in America
4. James McCune Smith (April 18, 1813 – November 17, 1865) – First Black doctor
5. William Edward Burghardt DuBois (1868-1963)- First Black person to obtain a Ph.D.

Job opportunity: Get paid to lose weight!

Roll up! Roll up! And hear the latest! For all those out there who have been looking for work but have not been successful, I have a prime opportunity for you. The only catch is, you have to be overweight. Still interested?

Well, an NHS advisory group has suggested that the NHS should start paying overweight people to lose weight. I’m not being funny but how dare they even consider using taxpayers money to pay these people, when all they had to do was stop eating one too many pies in the first place. Am I being harsh? I think not!  I’m well aware that there are many people who are overweight from no fault of their own as they may have a genetic or medical condition but for many, it is just a case of eating more than the guided 2000 calories a day.

As a taxpayer, when are these ludicrous ideas going to come to an end? I’m all for helping those who are in dire need but we are now living in a society where you could be fit and healthy with one child and still be living off benefits if you never make a conscious effort to obtain work. There has to be a time when people start to take responsibility for their actions as they should be taking an interest in their well-being, or am I wrong?

What sickens me, is that there are so many nurses who struggle to maintain a roof over their head and can only afford a house-share, when there are many people who have been provided with a nice house, with the rent paid for by us and also can remain on the dole as it is an easy life.

When you think about it, if they would consider paying people to lose weight then maybe they would consider other incentives to help people. When my mum passed away, my hair started to drop out from the stress I was experiencing, does this mean that they would have considered paying for hair implants or maybe even a weave! It may sound silly but I’m sure you can grasp the angle I’m trying to come from.

There was a pilot scheme which saw pregnant women being offered supermarket vouchers as an incentive to stop smoking. In a circumstance like this, I can see why an incentive was offered as the aim was to help protect the baby but why should that be our problem? If the mother can’t take responsibility for their unborn child, I can only imagine what it would be like when the child is born.

As we pay our taxes, I wonder why we are never allowed to make a valid contribution into how our money is being spent. The Government informs us of how the money will be spent as opposed to gaining or fully understanding what is best for the society as a whole. The Government even have a say on the way in which we discipline our children. Long gone are the days when you could give your child a tap on the hand to show your children who has the authority in the household, as nowadays your children will call Childline faster than your neighbours will!

With £4bn being spent on surgery from those who are obese, isn’t it time that we start developing some hard-hitting campaigns that motivate people to start losing weight, instead of giving them the easy and most expensive way out? This same £4bn could be spent on those who actually need it to help cure conditions and diseases that have come about due to no fault of their own.

So as the Government and these specialist groups keep inventing these money-saving ideas, kiss goodbye to ever thinking you will be able to take your family out for a nice meal, as out taxes will be paying for many a KFC bucket to come! (Even though it won’t be eating by us!)

Born today, adult tomorrow!

Now that I have reached a stage in life when maturity is definitely on my side, I have been able to see how the youngsters are starting to develop (or in some cases are unable of developing) mature decision-making skills. Although children and teenagers have a tendancy to feel that they are ‘grown’, when real life situations are thrown upon them, there is a big difference between thinking you are an adult and being an adult, as many young people have yet to learn.

The stage from primary school to secondary school age has definitely changed from my days. The likelihood that the girls will be playing with Barbie dolls instead of their real-life ‘Ken’, has become rather unusual. I’m not tarnishing every young girl (and boy) with the same brush but, the age of promiscuity has dramatically dropped over the past decade.

Sex has been a major topic of discussion for decades as it is an industry which is constantly pushed in our faces, whether it be via the TV, magazines, newspapers or on the Internet. Whether we like it or not, sex is the biggest and longest industry in the world. The days when french kissing was seen as slightly promiscuous on TV, has led way to full-blown nudity, homosexual affection and the connotations of sex even being featured before the 9pm watershed hour.

Young people are no longer cherishing their childhoods, as they are in a race to be perceived as a grown up when in reality, they are not ready to deal with half the things that are thrown at you when you become an adult. Children nowadays want all the latest gadgets but are not willing to earn the pocket money that they deserve to save up and buy it themselves, as they know mummy and daddy dearest will buy them the latest Blackberries, PS3s and laptops. They are also ready to jump into bed with someone they have known for next to little time, as they feel pressured by peers or feel that they are ready to make this adult decision. It’s a sad affair when children as young as 11 and 12 are becoming pregnant, it shows that they are receiving a lack of education in preparation of becoming an adult.

I don’t want to lay all the blame with the parents, as so many of us are fast to do. I’m sure if you think carefully, there are friends you know who have brought up their children with the correct morals and yet their children are still running riot on the streets and still indulging in a touch of promiscuity.

Let’s be realistic, even if we teach our children the ‘proper’ way of enjoying their childhood, they still have their own minds and therefore can still decide to do things behind your back. As a parent, it’s hard to prevent your children from having their own individualism but at the same time, you want the best for them which doesn’t include having sex well before the legal age limit.

Emotionally, the majority of these young people are not ready to deal with the consequences of sex. My friend recently took her 13-year old daughter to the sexual health clinic for a check-up. Her daughter had admitted to losing her virginity to someone who had decided to share his glory with many more girls at around the same time. My friend’s daughter truly showed her age when she was taken to the clinic, as it was only then she realised the severity of what having sex entails.

When the nurse produced a plastic penis to demonstrate how to put on a condom, you never would have thought that was recently faced with the real thing, as she felt very uncomfortable. From someone who had thought they were so grown, she now appeared with the character of a 9-year old when she was faced with an adult situation.

Young teenagers need to be educated more, as having children at an early age is not only detrimental to the child who bore the child (that was a mouthful) but also to the grandparents who have barely seen their 40th birthday and yet have to now raise a newborn. Many young parents do not have that much needed attachment to their child, as the child has been a result of a sexual experience that didn’t have much meaning or because the grandparents of the young parent don’t trust them to be responsible for the baby and therefore allow their child to live their life as normal.

When I was 13, I was thinking about the fun I was going to have at school and the sleep-overs that I weren’t allowed to go to (as my Mother always let me know that my bed was waiting for me at home) and what I would be wearing to the school disco which finished while it was still bright outside.  You know what discos I’m talking about, the ones where you were lucky if you got a can of pop, let alone be able to sneak outside and drink a  can of cider! Oh how times have changed and it can only continue to get worst as the rate of people having children at a young age becomes alarmingly high.

Looking back, I was never taught about sex education in school, as it wasn’t something that we needed to learn about at that time in our lives. Whereas the sex education that is taught in schools today, is not preventing the fact that 19% of young people use the ‘withdrawal’method as their form of contraception*. It is an absoloute tragedy that 1 in 4 young people do not use contraception and 31% knows of a close family member or friend who has already experienced an unplanned pregnancy.

I dread to think what the next generation will turn out like if they have our present ones as role models. Taking time out to get to know someone has become a thing of the past, as many teenagers are known to go on holiday and think it’s okay to have a holiday fling (or five!). The Government have spent an ample amount of funding in trying to promote ‘safe sex’ and in trying to prevent ‘unwanted’ and ‘underage pregnancy’ and yet we are still facing the same issues as young people keep making the same decisions.

Education is the key to keeping our youths free from harm and detrimental to help them establish a respectable life as a upcoming adult. Yes, there are youngsters who have had children at a seriously young age and have been able to cope but realistically, the majority rely on parents and in most circumstances are left holding the baby as the other parent is not ‘ready’ to take on any responsibility.

Where will this predicament of underage promiscuity end? Is it the fact that people in general always try things that they are not supposed to or is the word ‘childhood’ just something that our younger generation will never appreciate or acknowledge?

Let me know your thoughts!

* The research was part of a worldwide survey of 5,223 respondents and was funded by Bayer Healthcare.

Tube chaos once again!

Now there comes a time in the year when our lovely friends over at TFL decide that they need to have a voice on the way in which they are being treated. Go for it I say, until I see how they are planning to have this voice.  Yes, last week we were hit with yet another strike and good lord, how this one had struck us, I can’t even begin to say.

I’m a fair woman, I know people within certain industries have been severly affected by our current recession but I for one can’t understand how TFL can be allowed to strike so frequently when they’re people out there who are desperate to have a secure income each month, and wouldn’t even dream of striking.

From listening to Nick Ferrari on LBC 97.3, it seemed that they’re are various reasons why yet another walkout fell upon us but from hearing the views of the affected public, TFL definitely need to step up their game if they’re aiming to win any support from loyal customers.

I for one rarely use public transport but as these strikes hit us, it doesn’t seem to matter because when the train lines suspended for 24 hours, us trustworthy hardworkers had to try all avenues in an attempt to make it into work (on time).  Those who never even bothered with driving to work throw caution to the wind and dip into their pockets for that £8 ‘thief’ congestion charge (which will definitely be money wasted on this day) and hope that our boss’ are running late als, as surely they will understand!

My dear friend set out to drop my little sweetheart to breakfast club, on what should be a journey of no longer than 7 minutes. Well the text I got from her, with profanities that cannot be mentioned in this blog, definitely told me that the tube strike had definitely struck the smile off her face. It took Maria one hour and fifteen minutes to complete her ‘short drive’, which in turn made her late for work. The knock-on effect of the strikes is absolutely ridiculous, especially when we already have to deal with pretty horrendous rush hours on a normal day.

I’m all for freedom of expression but is there no other alternative than to cause direct mayhem to so many innocent commuters who are actually happy (or pretending to happy) in their jobs? Not only does the strike cause havoc in terms of traffic  but it also effects the pockets of many of us who should not be grunting the burden. Many people had to stay at home and incur a loss of earnings, which is a detrimental affect in our present climate.

The Government or TFL should implement a clause which states that you may not go on strike; one Governmental organisation which abides by this rule is the police, who are not able to go on strike at any point. I’m still don’t understand why if so many people are unhappy with their working situation on the London Underground, they don’t move on to a new job with better prospects.  It may seem that these workers are always battling for their cause but in actual fact, there are more than 50 possible strikes that could have been thrust upon us poor Londoners!

So, when the next strike hits us (because we wll know it’s definitely going to happen at some point in the near future), let’s make sure we are prepared with our good tempers (instead of our bad tempered road rage), a smile (even though we are probably going to be an hour and a half late for work) and pray that the situation can be resolved as quickly as possible, so those of us who are content with our jobs may go back to work on time and comfortable (as opposed to have smell the armpits of two times the amount of people that would normally be on the bus!).

Bleeding ears: Why won’t X Factor just go away?

It has only been on for 2 weeks and I am already fed up with it, what else could I be talking about than X Factor?!? Now in its’ 7^th series, with exactly the same format and outcome, is it not time for Simon Cowell to concede that yes, he is God of the music charts, predicting who will and won’t become chart sensations and to simply fade back into the background? His hogging of all the recent entertainment newspaper headlines would have driven even the Pope to distraction I’m sure! I mean who really cares if his latest group of wannabes trashed his luxury Marbella mansion? I say it was karma paying him back for making the poor innocent ears of England listen to these disillusioned ‘singers’ who audition every year for his show.

Obviously some misguided people actually enjoy the show or it would not have lasted as long as it has, but I am beginning to think that even they are beginning to tire of the same format and the same singer winning every year (did no one else think Alexandra Burke bore an uncanny resemblance to both the style and voice of Leona Lewis?) The winner of X Factor 2009, Joe something or other, was a prime example that the British public are becoming bored with this show as he was denied the exclusive Christmas no.1 by a viral campaign to get ‘Rage Against the Machine’ (not very Rudolph friendly I know…) to the top instead. And it worked! Thank the Lord I thought, no longer are the younger generation controlled by what they watch on TV! But this view was banished once again this year as X Factor fever swept the nation.

Cowell’s latest headlines have me believing that even he has realised there are no interesting stories anymore and has grown bored with his own pet project. The headlines started way back in June (ok it was only a couple of months ago, but to me in seems like a millennia after all the drivel I have had to read about) with Cheryl Cole coming down with malaria which according to X Factor ‘sources’ put the show in jeopardy as now both female judges were absent; Kylie Minogue’s less famous sister (whose name I could not care less about) was off having a baby. From working in PR I realised this was just another way to promote the show; leave the audience in suspense begging for more, praying that the show would defy all odds and return. Unfortunately, to my disappointment, the show fell upon our screens once more.

So on and on this reality show seems to go. Although I am not sure how reality based this show actually is. It appears to me that the producers aka Simon Cowell have already decided who they want to win, with select groups or individuals being filmed doing everyday things at home, and Dermot ‘McIrish’ seems to just pick them out of the mass crowd. Are they trying to tell me that these people are followed daily by cameramen in the off chance that they become famous one day and need a short clip? I think not! And why is it that every good (I use this term loosely) singer seems to have some kind of sob story to back them up for the sympathy vote?

Just because some woman’s dog died and for the majority of her audition she doesn’t sing out of tune, does not mean I should give up an hour and half of my life and about £10 per call to see her crowned the winner!

Another reason I do not understand this shows success is because more often than not Simon Cowell gets it wrong! I mean look at Jennifer Hudson, yes she made the final of American Idol, but did she win? No! Big mistake Mr. Cowell, as not only did she go on to star in a hit movie, Dreamgirls, but she won an Oscar for it! Simon had said that Jennifer was no better than a back-up singer but it’s nice to see that God always works in mysterious ways. Why do these people listen to Cowell when it appears to me that he would not even recognise real talent if it slapped him round the face! I mean for goodness sake he let the torture that is Jedward through on the last series! I think X-Factor is starting to lose its credibility, especially with shows like Must Be the Music being aired which has actual professionals judging real talent. The contestants on the show are not just singers but people who have a myriad of musical talents; from classical piano to the steel drums.  Must Be the Music celebrates all the different types of musical talent whilst X Factor seems to only focus on fame hungry monsters!

I think it is time for anyone with half a brain cell and good hearing to stand up against Simon Cowell and say enough is enough! The show has had a successful run, so why not end on a high note? England is tired of hearing hyped up sob story after sob story walk on and, then in most cases, promptly off the stage! Leave the loonies alone; let them believe they are the next Mariah Carey when they are singing away in the shower to their imaginary fans. Yes, Simon Cowell has made a couple of people successful from this show but he has also dashed the dreams of hundreds even thousands, and at the end of the day these ‘stars’ have a couple of hits and are then forgotten! So is it really worth us taking out another mortgage on our houses to pay for the phone bill after various family members have called up and voted for their favourite acts after weeks of being tortured by their mediocre singing? I for one think not!

New generation: Is the future still bright?

Remember the times when you would wish you could go back to your childhood. Especially the time when you just turned eighteen, you were officially an adult; you could do whatever you wanted and not answer to anyone.  Some may have discovered a new found freedom. Oh to go back to those days with not a care in the world with your whole life ahead of you.  Well, not according to The Independent and The Times today.  Before you start getting all nostalgic and head off down memory lane, The Independent is asking the question today, who would want to be 18 today?  And as usual the papers have gone for the doom and gloom approach.

Both papers are reporting that record numbers will miss out on university places, those lucky enough to secure a place will find that they incur record debts of £24,700.  And to top it off, those leaving university will find it almost impossible to find employment as the recession bites and the older generation already in work will be forced to work longer.   I should also mention that many of those missing out on places will include high flying students with three grade A passes.  With more students applying for places than ever before, have we done that terrible thing of building up our children’s hopes only to dash them? Have we piled unnecessary pressure on them to achieve good grades for it to amount to nothing?  Or are we trying to fit square pegs into round holes?

I know for some it may even be the first time that a family member has gone to university in generations.  What was once seen as an attainment of the privileged few has been made more accessible to the many.  However, you can argue that traditional degrees in maths, science, engineering etc are less sought after, with students perhaps opting for easier options like media studies, art and photography.  The new coalition Government is standing by its election pledge to provide an additional 10,000 university places but only in subjects key to the future of the economy, like technology.

However, are all students suited to university?  What about good old fashioned apprenticeships and work placements where you could work and earn as you learn?  What about work?  There is already a shortage of skilled tradesmen such as plumbers and electricians. There is definitely no shame in not going to university and learning a trade.  Telecom giant BT announced today that they have had over 24,000 applications chasing 221 apprenticeship places.  That’s more than 100 applications for just one place!  Successful applicants will go on to specialise in information technology, telecoms or customer services and will gain a BTEC certificate/diploma or a foundation degree.

Instead of painting such a negative picture I think what we need to do is provide students with realistic solutions and options according to their skills and ability.  For some, going out into the work place might be the best option.  And yes, before we start harping on that there are no jobs out there; I think that is a slight exaggeration.  What we need to do is equip school leavers with the right skills and confidence so that they know where and how to look for a job, so that they can hold their own in an interview and have the social and communication skills to compete in the workplace.  If we can teach them that, they can make it in these challenging times, it will provide them with the experience and character building that will stand them in good stead. Students and young adults should be taught that not everything is handed it to them on a plate, but the best things in life are often those things which you have to work hard for and you’ll appreciate it even more because of it.

I also think we need to encourage our children to still aim high.  We’ve heard the quote many times “Reach for the moon and even if you miss you’ll land among the stars”.  Almost every year we read statistics at how our young people start off so well at primary school and by the time they get to secondary school it’s all gone horribly wrong.  They get involved in the wrong crowd and go down the wrong road and then well…we all know the rest by now.  I’m not saying we shouldn’t be realistic and give false hope, but we should not stop encouraging our kids to shoot for that moon.   But what we must do is help them to set out achievable goals with plenty of options.  We need to look at investing in education, mentoring and good work programs that they can respond well to.

Sometimes I think we need to give our kids a break.   We keep putting them under so much pressure.  We want them to dress well, not play their music too loud, have friends that we approve of, don’t take drugs, study hard, get good grades etc etc.  We even complain when they do well and achieve good GCSE or A level results.  However, even if they do all the things we would like and without succumbing to peer pressure, what do we do? We go and heap more pressure on them with today’s headlines.   So if on Thursday you get the university place, job or apprenticeship of your dreams, then great, well done and congratulations!  But if you don’t, look at all your options and get good advice as it’s not the end of your world.  Actually, it’s all still there right in front of you waiting for you to jump straight in, so go ahead and enjoy your life, enjoy being eighteen.